The Perpetual Virginity of Mary

I am a committed Catholic, and one of the things that I would like to do in this blog is explore some of the thornier contentions that the Church maintains in its dogma. Surely many Christians know that the Catholic Church teaches that Mary was a virgin eternally, despite her becoming pregnant with Jesus, her giving birth to him, and her being married to Joseph. I believe with absolutely no qualms in the virginal conception. I would, however, like to ask a question about Mary’s remaining a virgin even after giving birth to Jesus and despite her being married to Joseph – why is this important? And if it is not important, then why would it matter to God?

As to the first question, only one answer strikes me as being valid, that virginity is more pure than is marriage (marriage, of course, implies sexual intercourse); Mary would then be pure as pure can be, only marrying out of obedience to the will of God, so that Jesus would be raised by a mother and father, and remaining undefiled by sex forever; and Mary would then be capable of our adoration.

The logical extension of this reasoning into our lives as Christians seems to me to be pernicious. Here is a family every member of which we look to for guidance in our own lives – the Holy Family exemplifies loving parents who raise a loving and obedient child. If we cannot see our own marriages as loving in the same way that that marriage was loving, how can we look on our families without disdain?

This is to say nothing of the Church teachings about marriage and sex. The Church teaches that sexual intercourse is one of, if not the, greatest and most mysterious gifts that God has given to us; marriage is one of the sacraments and the foundation of a good society. Is it possible, then, to reconcile the idea that virginity is more pure than un-virginity with the idea that sex is one of God’s greatest gifts to humanity? Is it possible, then, to reconcile the idea that the most important marriage that ever was was non-sexual with the idea that sexual, child-rearing marriages are sacramental and are the foundation of our society?

I don’t know the answers to these questions, although I suspect that in both cases the answer is “no.” The only thing that I do think I know for sure is that if God exists, God thinks love is very important, and that if anything is superfluous to love, it is not important to God.